photo by: Foto Bocch
My wife and I went to Bones a few weeks ago. Bones is like Atlanta’s Premier steak house. They had a bone in Filet Mignon that was just ridiculous. At any rate, Bones has free Valet Parking. So we valeted and went inside. We had our steaks and potatoes and what not, and it was time to go home. We went outside and presented the valet our ticket, he hurriedly retrieved our key, ran over to the car and pulled it around right in front of our feet. He opened the door for my wife and handed me the keys. I hit him with a five spot, hopped in and drove away.
Almost immediately we began to smell something. It was absolutely rank. I knew it didn’t come from me, and I figured it wasn’t coming from my wife either; she’s too beautiful for something so foul smelling to emanate from her. So we looked at each other kinda puzzled. That’s when I surmised that it had to be the valet. Damn valet, he took the liberty of passing gas in our car. And to think, I tipped him a five spot and what I get in return? Fresh ass gas from the valet. Thanks valet guy.
So we rolled down the widows and opened the sunroof and tried to air the car out. But the smell would not dissipate. Did the valet guy have an accident in the car as well? Where is this smell coming from? That’s when my wife reveled that she spilled some of her lunch, which included yogurt, into her lunch bag. She thought that she cleaned it out. But alas, some of it had gotten it a small compartment of the bar and had began to rot.
Upon this realization we went from being mad at the gassy valet to being embarrassed by a stinky car. We wondered what the valet was thinking? Maybe there’s some blog out there by this valet, talking about our stinky car or something? The moral of the story is, don’t tip free valet guys. Nah, I’m just kidding, the moral of the story is if you’re gonna valet, don’t pack your lunch that day.
You know, before I moved to atlanta, everyone said it was so fantastic. But now, they changing Buckhead up, getting rid of all the fun stuff and making it like 5th avenue in New York, there’s an incredible drought, and its starting to get colder, alot ealier than I anticiapted. Not to mention, i went to wedding last weekend that was just awesome, except for the fact that one of the waiters spilled about a half a pitcher of ice cold sweet tea on my suit jacket, while I was wearing it.
I’m starting to think that I missed the Atlanta. You know? Maybe the city peaked already and we got here late or something? Well, based on the rule of averages, things have gotta get better right? Although, getting better in this instance means a very wet winter, thats cool; rain is cool with me. However, I must admin I’m a little scarred after getting a pitcher of sweet tea spilled on me.
Photo by www.thesnapclap.com.
I was on the boardwalk the other day and I spied a ‘hidden’ video camera. I know they were installed for safety and what not, but the amount of cameras I’ve seen recently is quite disturbing. I mean, back in the days things were safer, and there were less violent crimes, but we didn’t have no damn cameras looking at folks 24/7, you know? Kinda makes you wonder what the cameras are really for?
This morning while riding a DC Metro Train to work I noticed an advertisement. The ad featured extremley detailed instructions on how to protect yourself and others from the flu. You know; wash your hands, cover your mouth, all that jazz. Really and truly, I don’t understand why they have instructions for something that basic but overlook the real important stuff, like how to ride the Metro properly!
Look, I might be jaded or too “New York” or whatever you wanna call me, but DC folks, ya’ll don’t do public transportation properly, you just don’t. You know how to stop the spread of germs, but you’re horrible when it comes to public transportation. So, in lieu of a public service to educate riders sponsored by the DC Metro, I’ve come up with my own list.
Rules for Riding the DC Metro
For Metro Passengers:
- Take your bag off - I’m tired of getting knocked around by your bookbag; or trying to shuffle around your shopping bags. Take your bags off and sit them in your lap or on the floor.
- Move to the center of the car/ back of the bus - There’s MAD room back there people! Why stand on top of me, when you can sit next to that crazy looking federal employee.
- Don’t stand in the doorway - This is self explanitory.
- Collapse your baby carriages - Your carriage takes up the whole isle! Wait a minute, how old is your kid anyway?!? Listen, if his feet touch the ground when he’s in the stroller, guess what; he’s too old for a stroller.
- Say Excuse me (!) - Come on! How rude. Just say excuse me and I’ll get out of your way. And vice/versa; when I say excuse me, you should get outta my way, don’t just stand in the doorway; MOVE!
- Be courteous of seniors/pregnant women - A co-worker of mine was pregnant, and no one ever, never ever gave up their seat for her? What kinda people ride the Metro and won’t give up their seats, for a woman who’s preggers? What gives?
- Let the passengers exit, BEFORE you attempt to enter the car - I CANNOT STRESS THIS ONE ENOUGH. You cannot enter, before we exit; it just don’t work that way. Be patient, wait till I get off the train before you take my seat.
For Metro Employees:
- Easy on the brakes - Bus, train, it doesn’t matter. The Metro drivers in DC are all herkey jerky on the brakes! Drivers, please be considerate, there’s a whole bunch of people in here, and they all got bookbags on, and they refuse to move to the back of the bus. When I ride the bus in DC, I find myself holding on tight even when I sit down! That’s unacceptable!
- Clean Metro buses thoroughly - I don’t understand why every bus in DC smells like urine. It’s just not possible. Every bus smells like urine!?! And it’s not like its just in the back of the bus, or the front or whatever; its like a ubiquitous urine, you know? No matter where you sit, it smells like a port-a-potty, and that’s no way to start or finish a day. (Notice I said clean thoroughly. Because sometimes they do a half ass job, so you smell Pine-sol and urine which is almost worse than urine alone.)
- Be short when announcing Metro station stops - I kid you not, there’s a conducter on the Metro, who thinks she’s an auctioneer. She never stops talking over the train’s intercom system! She’s like, “This is the Red Line to, Shhhaaaaaaaaaaaaady Grove.” And then proceeds to tell the weather the time, the stock report, horoscopes. I exaggerate, but only a little. She really doesn’t shut up. How many times are you gonna tell us what time it is? We know what time it is fool, its one minute later than then last time you told me! Please spare me; I have a watch, thanks.
Now look, you might get mad, and say I’m hating or whatever but you know what? I like the Metro. you guys got a really cool looking subway system, with the lights at the edge of the platform that pulse when the train is arriving. You guys actually have a schedule with a display that alerts you to the next train. Come on, that’s COOL! Plus the whole “left side walk right side stand” thing you do on the escalators is genius!
So, I’m mentioning the above suggestions out of love. Consider it, corrective criticism, or a public service announcement or something. In New York, these things are second nature to us; we’re had a subway for like a hundred years! So, I understand that someone has got to tell you DC folks how it’s done. I don’t expect for you guys to get it right away, but if you do anything, just please take your bookbags off; it’s the least you could do, thanks!
Photo: studio113
I’ll be so happy when Barry Bonds breaks Hammerin’ Hanks all time homerun record. Don’t get me wrong, Hank Aaron is pillar of baseball greatness, never to be tarnished or diminished. But this is about principles, to me. In my view, baseball turned a blind eye to the drugs as they did in the 1985 cocaine scandal. They knew what went on in their clubhouses. If a child OD’s on cocaine in his parent’s house, guess who’s criminally negligent. Ain’t nothing supposed to go down in your house, that you don’t know about; and baseball knew. Even if baseball didn’t know, . they’re still negligent, because this is foreseeable, and they should have known or taken adequate precautions to guard against these abuses. Furthermore, in light of the ’85 cocaine scandal, the argument could be made that MLB was straight-up reckless because they did not institute a strict zero-tolerance drug policy.
Read more…
Vacamas 2004
Originally uploaded by little sausage
This might look like a random trail in the woods that runs along some mysterious PVC pipe. But alas, ask anyone who has spent any significant time at Camp Vacamas in West Milford, New Jersey, and they’ll tell you what this is.
I’ve walked this path a million times, . . .well at least several hundred, but it seems like a million; having spent more than 10 summers at Camp Vacamas. It might sound corny but Vacamas was a really, really sepcial part of my childhood. The things I did there seemed impossible at home. I became empowered, I guess, as a result of the challenges I faced at Vacamas, not to mention the sheer all out fun!
This pathway, goes around the Lake Larriween from the manor House, to the fishing dock and around to sunfish beach. I used to walk around camp without a flashlight, until one night I stumbled over a section of the slippery when wet PVC pipe pictured here, and took a spill. I was alright, but after that, I got a flashlight (or as my UK folks call it; a ‘torch’).
Read more…
