Why you shouldn’t valet, if you’re gonna pack lunch

photo by: Foto Bocch

My wife and I went to Bones a few weeks ago. Bones is like Atlanta’s Premier steak house. They had a bone in Filet Mignon that was just ridiculous. At any rate, Bones has free Valet Parking.  So we valeted and went inside.  We had our steaks and potatoes and what not, and it was time to go home.  We went outside and presented the valet our ticket, he hurriedly retrieved our key, ran over to the car and pulled it around right in front of our feet. He opened the door for my wife and handed me the keys. I hit him with a five spot, hopped in and drove away.

Almost immediately we began to smell something.  It was absolutely rank.  I knew it didn’t come from me, and I figured it wasn’t coming from my wife either; she’s too beautiful for something so foul smelling to emanate from her.  So we looked at each other kinda puzzled.  That’s when I surmised that it had to be the valet. Damn valet, he took the liberty of passing gas in our car.  And to think, I tipped him a five spot and what I get in return? Fresh ass gas from the valet. Thanks valet guy.

So we rolled down the widows and opened the sunroof and tried to air the car out. But the smell would not dissipate. Did the valet guy have an accident in the car as well? Where is this smell coming from? That’s when my wife reveled that she spilled some of her lunch, which included yogurt, into her lunch bag. She thought that she cleaned it out. But alas, some of it had gotten it a small compartment of the bar and had began to rot.

Upon this realization we went from being mad at the gassy valet to being embarrassed by a stinky car. We wondered what the valet was thinking? Maybe there’s some blog out there by this valet, talking about our stinky car or something?  The moral of the story is, don’t tip free valet guys. Nah, I’m just kidding, the moral of the story is if you’re gonna valet, don’t pack your lunch that day.