A straight guys guide to Fashion Week at Bryant Park

photo by Tina Gao

No matter how I say this, or how it comes out; it’s not gonna sound right. Its just not gonna.  You know, the football season just started the other day, but I’m completely enamored by the 2008 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at Bryant Park.

Interestingly enough, I actually drove by Bryant Park the other, I mean I just happened to be over there.  It was a mad house.  Then when I came home, a was channel surfing and I came across NYCTV’s show, Full Frontal Fashion and their coverage of a few of the early runway shows like Jason Wu and Gwen Stefani’s L.A.M.B.

After that, I was hooked. I know I’m more of a creative person.   So, it’s easy for me to get caught up in art, eye candy and music of a runway show.  I find myself easily amazed by most things that deal with wonderful little expressions of life; like art, music, photography, writing; things like that.  I see, the runway shows from that vantage point.  I see them from the creative, optical, musical aspect, you know what I mean?  It’s like an art show on walking canvases, you know?  (and for the real superficial folks, runway shows have lots of women, and everyone likes to look at women, right? RIGHT!?)

But it’s interesting because while we may buy music or artwork in the next season or so; we certainly will buy clothes, you know?  I mean, everybody’s got some threads right?  A new season approaches and you dress accordingly, without even asking a question.  So, maybe there is a practical place in our lives for these fashion shows.  Well, be that as it may there’s still a stigma attached to fashion week.  You know, dudes don’t watch fashion week.  So, I came up with a guide to help dudes survive conceal their interest in fashion week.

A straight guys guide to Fashion Week

• Don’t blog about fashion week.  If you blog about it, you’re paying too much attention to fashion, and that’s not cool, real guys don’t pay attention to fashion. 
• Don’t pay attention to the styles.  As a guy you never want to pay too much attention to clothing.  As a matter of fact, you’re most likely wearing a Taco Bell Picante sauce stained t-shirt as you read this.  If so, good work!  No one will ever think you’re watching Fashion Week with a picante sauce stain on your shirt.
• Play some X-Box 360 after watching Fashion week coverage, you gotta play Gears of War or something like that, something with guns and aliens, you know what I mean?
• If someone walks into the room and finds you secretly watching Fashion week coverage, tell them they just missed it, Beyonce was on the catwalk and just fell off of a stage and exposed herself again.
• Don’t mention that stripes and checks clash.
• If you happen to be one of the lucky people in attendance at a runway show.  Make sure to wear socks and sandals, suspenders and a belt.  Just be real redundant, real guys do stuff like that, ‘casue we don’t care about fashion.
• Also, wear alot of different colors that might not compliment each other.  Whatever you do, make sure your clothes don’t match,  I repeat do not match the colors, fabrics or even the season of your outfit.  As matter of fact wear white linen, its after Labor Day.

So, follow these simple rules, and you too can survive fashion week!