So, on my way to work this morning I’m waited to cross the street and I see this dude being chauffeured in a GEO Metro with diplomatic license plates.  I’m like, what embassy do YOU work at?  Kazakhstan?  They couldn’t spring for a Towncar? I’d rather ride the Metro than get chaffered in a GEO Metro?  That don’t make no sense. Ok, ok, it wasn’t a Metro it was a Ford Aveo, . .but really. . that’s the same car, you know?  You could only see that kinda thing in DC, a dude sittin’ in the back of an Aveo with a driver?  Thats crazy.

By mid morning I had read a story about Al Sharpton doing some DNA test and finding out that his ancestors were owned by the ancestors of late South Carolina Republican Senator Strom Thurman.  you just gotta laugh at that.  Its ill, ONLY IN AMERICA, right.  You need a chainsaw to cut through the irony of that, you know what I mean?  But it just goes to show you, the legacy of slavery in America.  Thurman’s great great grand kids benefit from their privileged position.  The inter-generational transfer of wealth is ridiculous.  Then you look at a guy like Sharpton, who competes on the same political playing field as these guys and has run for president.  How much HARDER did Sharpton have to work to get to where he is now?  You know what I mean?  First of all, I’m not a racist, I’m a classist.  Be that as it may, it burns me up when white folks say to me ”Why should we have affirmative action, I never owned slaves.”  Yeah whatever.  You never owned slaves but your great great great great grand father did.  And because of that; you’re a Senator.  Meanwhile, Black Senators are almost rarer than Steak Tartare.
 
Anyway, the other day I saw something else crazy on my way to work.  I saw this guy window shopping for booze.  I mean, literally window whopping.  The liquor store had not opened yet; and he’s standing there, talking about which one he’s gonna buy and pointing.  In my mind, I’m like damn, It’s 8:55am?  No one should be thinking about liquor at 8:55?!?!  C’mon dog! 8:55?!?!?  AM?!?  That’s just crazy.

Ya’ll remember Taxicab Confessions on HBO? That show was kinda ill back in the days. People get in the cab, get all freaky and nasty, you know? People talk about their life story; about how they were molested and abused and they’re on drugs etc etc. It was ill to see a person’s true nature.

Well, as a result of that show, I have developed a practice of talking to my cabbies when I catch a cab home at night. Like really talking to them, you know? It’s not just like, ‘how’s the weather’; its more like, ‘how’s the world’. I’m always amazed by the depth and breadth of my conversations with cab drivers. I almost always depart with a new jewel of information, a new perspective.

Last night for example, I had a cab driver from Pakistan. We talked about the war in Iraq. We talked about Pakistan and India being Nuclear powers. I was surprised that he had lived in Nigeria and Europe. He had run business in Lagos and in Delta region of Nigeria.

I think what most Americans fail to develop is an appreciation for everyone else. American’s are very self centered. Call it a vestige of the Monroe Doctrine or Manifest Destiny or just the plain fact that geographically we are somewhat isolated from the rest of the world; but American’s are self centered. We think the world revolves around us, and it doesn’t.

Most cab drivers (and most people who immigrate to America) have a greater global perspective. They understand that, yeah Pakistan is a Nuclear Power but at the same time the GDP of all the Arab nations combined is still less than that of the Spain; who has the lowest GDP in Europe. They know what its like to go without food and water. Not because you don’t have the money to pay the bills, . but simply because there is no infrastructure to provide these resources. Most of the World lives this way; and as Americans we simply cannot comprehend. We cannot see beyond the hood of foreign luxury cars. We can’t understand unless it’s in 1080i Hi def. However, because of his travels and upbringing, my cabbie can speak from a world perspective that echoes the majority of the world. He can speak for that kid in China right now, in a sweatshop. He can speak for Nigerian 419 gangsters. He speaks for the world from a global perspective in a way that many Americans cannot.

My cabbie hypostasized, we will see a resurgence from Africa; we will see the rise of China. I hope he’s right, I hope we see a new shift in global political paradigm. Most Americans can’t even point to China is on a map! You know what I’m saying!? We have no right to wield the power that we do. It’s not all about America. Its a million people in India, man; a BILLION. You feel me? We can’t speak for those people. We can’t impart and define capitalism to them; we can’t define democracy to Iraq. It just gets me sick to think about the disparity in wealth. We Americans are too fat, lazy, drugged-up and self centered to usher in a new global paradigm. America needs to be honest. America needs to make its own taxicab confession. Then again, maybe I’m just buggin, pass the hot wings; VH1 is running an ‘I love New York’ marathon.

You know, my young cousin really liked Britney Spears at one point. I mean, he was like three and he knew the dance moves and the songs. we all thought it was cute. He’s since moved on to Bootylicous Beyonce, like everyone else for that matter, but that’s a different story.

Today’s story is about Britney Spears. I thought about writing something about her about two weeks ago. I was just gonna pose the question, “How long will it be before Britney Poses in Playboy?” You know? I wanted to start the official countdown. It seemed as though her life after K-fed was plummeting into an abyss of drugs and alcohol. Its shameful that it has come to such a pass for Ms. Spears, who was once a media darling and as clean as Prius.

The interesting thing here is that the media is covering this like its ‘news’. Is this the insatiable America hunger for celebreality, OR is this just seedy journalism, paparazzi gone wild? I look at a guy like Barry Bonds. He never got along with the media, so when the media gets a chance to take a dig at Barry, of course they take advantage. Or you look at OJ or Michael Jackson etc etc. These are guys who the media has characterized as monsters. Not to say that it was without warrant, but the media outlets seemed insatiable in their hunts for new info. I mean, even Dave Chapelle was portrayed as a wild crazy dude who left $50 million on the table and flew to South Africa to smoke weed and drink or whatever.

But then I look at Britney; Poor little no-panties-wearing-hanging-out-with-Paris Britney. And the media has hopped all over her. Is the media supplying a need or is the media force feeding us?

It’s interesting to see the unflinching eye of the media just totally ‘cover’ a story, you know? About Britney Spears of all people. I mean I’m talking about news crawlers and news specials and breaking news briefs on E! and the style channel. You know what I mean? I question whether the media is supplying a demand. Is the average American that concerned about Britney’s hair? And more immediately, what do I tell my young cousin about Britney? How do I explain Britney’s Burnout to a child?

I think that the media is part of the ’soma’ of today. We’ve got unending news coverage of ‘nonsense’, that’s supposed to make us feel better about ourselves. We’ve got reality TV that’s supposed to entertain us. Reality TV is like an intersection of Huxley’s ‘Soma’ concept and Andy Warhol’s statement about every American having 15 minutes of fame. The media is like a drug, a mind deafening drug.

I refuse to think that this is how we define ourselves as Americans. I don’t think that we really want to watch or read about this stuff. Our television programming is just straight gutter, with the news media leading the way. It’s no wonder that I don’t watch the news. I don’t even read the New York Times. I read the Post. The post is 25 cents and its straight garbage. The Times portrays itself as this upper crusty work of editorial art; but it’s the same nonsense and propaganda, it just costs more. I don’t feel bad when I line my birdcage with the Post, ’cause that’s where it belongs. I wouldn’t feel so bad, if I could line by birdcage with Fox News and CNN and all the rest of the Pseudo TV news, ’cause that’s where it belongs.

Now, I know why Public Enemy had media Assassin Harry Allen.

Britney Bald

I don’t normally tell Knock Knock jokes, but, I think I just heard the funniest knock knock joke of all time:

A: “Knock, Knock.”
B: “Who’s There?”
A: “Control Freak; Now you say Control Freak who?”

Alright, alright, I just couldn’t pass up the chance to lambaste the powers that be. I came back from Nigeria on the 13th and I haven’t blogged since. I was preparing this dope slide show and day to day details about my trip. I was even gonna throw a little rant about how America is crazy and I see things from a different perspective after my trip. But this whole Aqua Teen Hunger Force Terrorist Hoax was just too juicy, too easy. I just couldn’t resist.

So, the Boston Police department misconstrues a light bright looking marketing campaign for bombs. As I said before, this is YOUR America. It’s yours. This is what they want. They want you to be afraid; they want you to tape up your windows for fear of terrorist biological attacks. They want you to fear the terrorist alert level. Fear equals control. Its just ironic that even the police force has fallen victim. There ain’t nobody smart enough in Boston PD to figure this out? Don’t nobody watch Cartoon Network. This thing looked like a light bright for God sakes. They better go down to Southie and look for the janitor with the scientific calculator, maybe HE can figure it out for them. It’s ridiculous, these ad campaigns were running in other major cities around the country and nobody said a peep. Even in NY of all places, the main staging area of terrorist propaganda, no one cared about the Aqua Teen Hunger Force ad campaign.

Everybody’s running around scared of terrorists. Man, the terrorists live next door to you. You voted for the terrorists. Some of my best friends are terrorists. In the midst of all this Exxon is posting profits that amount to about 4 million dollars an hour. This is ridiculous. The wealthy, the controlling class are playing us like two dollar fiddle. They got us so focused on the nonsense; that we’d rather arrest a marketing firm then hold them accountable.

A while back I was at Bohemian Caverns on U street and I struck up a conversation with these two guys who worked for some environmental think tank outfit. I asked them the truth about global warming, the truth about peak oil, I asked themn their opinions as so-called experts. At the end of the conversation we pondered why the general American population don’t know or don’t care about these seemingly important issues. I advocated for widespread education and dissemination of this information which would allow the America people to make their own choice. For example: hey America, we’re running out of oil and you guys wanna drive SUV’s. So, we have two choices stop driving SUV’s or we gotta go to war; you make the call. One of the gentleman argued that this is an impossibility, it would cause mass confusion, the general population would go crazy if they knew the truth. Looking back at that statement in light of the current Aqua Teen Hunger Force debacle, I wonder if the people aren’t crazy already.

Then again, maybe I should just go back to watching the cartoon network of terrorists, buy a gas mask, duct tape all my windows and ponder whether anything with a battery and LEDs is a bomb; just like the rest of the uninformed masses.